Messaging Etiquette for LinkedIn: How Corporate Women Can Build Relationships - Not Burn Bridges

LinkedIn gets a bad reputation - and honestly, it’s not hard to see why.

Cold pitches.
Spammy sales DMs.
Unsolicited advice from strangers you didn’t ask for.

It’s no wonder so many smart women avoid using LinkedIn messages altogether.
But here’s the truth:
Done well, direct messaging on LinkedIn can be one of the most powerful tools you have for building genuine, strategic relationships.

It’s not about selling.
It’s about connecting.

Let’s start with what not to do.

The LinkedIn Messaging Mistakes to Avoid:

(Yes - these are all real examples from my inbox.)

👉 No pet names.
"Twinkle" is not a professional salutation. Yes I have had this in my inbox!

👉 Don’t bombard.
One ignored message is a no. Three? It’s desperation.

👉 Skip the “just floating this to the top” follow-ups.
It doesn’t make you memorable - it makes you cringeworthy.

👉 Avoid assumptions.
Pitching your service without knowing if I need it feels tone-deaf - not helpful.

👉 Do your research.
If you pitch services I already provide, it shows you haven’t done even basic homework.

👉 Say no to bots.
Automated DMs are easy to spot - and a fast track to being ignored (or reported).

👉 Don’t demand a discovery call.
Especially not in the first message from a company no one’s ever heard of.

👉 Don’t overhype your product.
What’s awesome to you may not be awesome to them - build relevance, not hype.

👉 No weather chats.
Save small talk for real connections - not first messages. Or your favourite crisp flavour, YAWN.

👉 Avoid awkward profile references.
Randomly mentioning my latest recommendation and then cold pitching? Weird, not impressive.

What Actually Works:

✅ Personalisation - the real kind.
More than swapping out the name.
Research the person. Reference their work. Comment thoughtfully.

✅ Be relevant and human.
Refer to a post you liked.
Mention something you have in common - background, hobbies, values.

✅ Offer value first.
Share an article they’d appreciate. Pass on a useful insight.

✅ Be clear - and kind - about your intent.
Flattery isn’t a bad thing. Neither is honesty.

✅ Keep it short and respectful of their time.
Busy people appreciate brevity and relevance.

✅ Be genuinely interested in the person.
Not just what you can sell them.

✅ Understand that quality messages help your LinkedIn presence overall.
Conversations are not just connection-builders - they help your profile’s SEO too.

LinkedIn messaging isn’t dead.

It’s just overdue for a strategy upgrade - one that’s focused on relationships, not transactions.

If you’ve been avoiding your inbox because it feels messy, or you’re unsure how to message without sounding salesy, I can help.

👉 Let’s talk about your LinkedIn strategy - and build one that actually feels good (and works hard) for you.